It's the Law
The Virginia Pilot recently enacted some new laws and removed some old ones from the law books. There are still some on the books, that are, well, funny AND weird!
For example:
In many counties, no one may be a professional fortuneteller, and if one wishes to pursue the practice as an amateur, it must be practiced in a school or church. (I guess having faith isn't enough)
You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry. (Which ones are NOT included?)
If one is not married, it is illegal for one to have sexual relations. (That is valuable information.)
No animal may be hunted on Sundays with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2 a.m. (What have they got against racoons?)
I am just getting started, here:
No person may keep a skunk as a pet. (Good!)
It is illegal to cuss about another. (Not too many people on the interstate or in front of my apartment listen to that one.)
It is illegal to park a car on railroad tracks. (I glad they made that a law.)
No one may visit departed loved ones late at night. (Who wants to go into the cemetary at night, anyway?)
People may not drive their cars on sidewalks. (The pedestrians are very happy to hear that)
People may not throw rocks at the street. (What can we throw rocks at?)
No one may spit on the street. (That's right! Spit on the sidewalk instead.)
It's illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (Well, darn. Now where will I ride my bike?)
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school or place of worship. (I hope they all read the law or they will be in big trouble.)
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the teller with a water pistol. (Use a real gun instead)
It's illegal to fall asleep in a cheese factory. (How often did that happen? Must have been a lot if they had to make a law forbidding it.)
Virginia is not the only state with funny laws. How about these? You have been warned, so pay attention if you live in any of these places.
Alaska
It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (I am glad they cleared that up)
California
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Illinois
It is illegal to speak English; American is the officially recognized language.
Iowa
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
Louisana
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the teller with a water pistol.
Massachusetts
1 percent of construction costs of prisons must be spent on art, up to a maximum of $100,000.
Texas
It is illegal to carry a concealed ice-cream cone.
Utah
It is a crime to curse on a bus.
Discriminating unfairly in the purchase of milk, cream or butterfat is a crime.
Prosecutors can seek death for anyone who kills an on-duty poultry inspector.
A drive-by shooting could get you five years in jail and a $5,000 fine, but you could spend 15 years in prison and pay $10,000 for altering the license plate stickers on your car.
You must yield to birds while driving on the highway.
Parents can give written permission to teachers to spank their children. Even though all 40 school districts prohibit corporal punishment by policy, legislators have declined to repeal the law.
First cousins may marry, but only if they are beyond child-bearing years.
It is slander - punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine - to falsely accuse a female of being unchaste.
Raffles are defined in the law as illegal lotteries. But this particular form of gambling is routinely used by nonprofit organizations and charities to raise money.
Nightclubs may be licensed to serve alcoholic beverages only if they promise they are a real club or association, and not a business out to make a profit. Apparently, lying is not a crime.
Laws in U.S. cities, towns
Globe, Ariz.
It's illegal to play cards with an American Indian.
Tucson, Ariz.
It is illegal for women to wear pants.
California cities
In San Jose, one may not sleep in an outhouse without the owner's permission.
It is illegal in Los Angeles for anyone to send a complaint through the mail saying that a hotel has cockroaches.
A Tahoe City law prohibits horses from wearing cowbells.
Roosters are forbidden to crow within the city limits of Ontario.
In Carmel, women may not take baths in a business office.
New Britain, Conn.
Fire trucks must travel at a speed of 25 mph, even when going to a fire.
Tallahassee, Fla.
One may have sexual relations with a porcupine. (Oh, those crazy Floridians. The fun they must be having!)
Illinois cities
It's illegal to fish in your pajamas in Chicago.
In Cicero, you may not hum on public streets on Sundays.
In Joliet, you may be fined up to $5 for pronouncing the city's name "Jollyet."
In Zion, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats and other pets.
Gary, Ind.
People are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
Clawson, Mich.
It is legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats and chickens.
St. Louis
It is illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
Lehigh, Neb.
It is illegal to sell doughnut holes.
New York
You may not throw a ball at someone's head for fun. (I am really glad to hear that! If you throw a ball at someone's head, you must be serious and not enjoy it in the least)
Baltimore
It is illegal to take a lion to the theater.
Eugene, Ore.
No person shall park or tether a horse in a public way or street.
None of the listed animals - baby chicks, ducklings, goslings or rabbit - that have been dyed or otherwise colored artificially may be sold, raffled, displayed in a shop or given as a prize.
No person shall camp in or upon any sidewalk, street, alley, lane, public right of way or park, under a bridge or on any other publicly owned property.
No person shall carry or haul garbage on a street or sidewalk exposed so as to be offensive to pedestrians.
For example:
In many counties, no one may be a professional fortuneteller, and if one wishes to pursue the practice as an amateur, it must be practiced in a school or church. (I guess having faith isn't enough)
You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry. (Which ones are NOT included?)
If one is not married, it is illegal for one to have sexual relations. (That is valuable information.)
No animal may be hunted on Sundays with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2 a.m. (What have they got against racoons?)
I am just getting started, here:
No person may keep a skunk as a pet. (Good!)
It is illegal to cuss about another. (Not too many people on the interstate or in front of my apartment listen to that one.)
It is illegal to park a car on railroad tracks. (I glad they made that a law.)
No one may visit departed loved ones late at night. (Who wants to go into the cemetary at night, anyway?)
People may not drive their cars on sidewalks. (The pedestrians are very happy to hear that)
People may not throw rocks at the street. (What can we throw rocks at?)
No one may spit on the street. (That's right! Spit on the sidewalk instead.)
It's illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (Well, darn. Now where will I ride my bike?)
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school or place of worship. (I hope they all read the law or they will be in big trouble.)
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the teller with a water pistol. (Use a real gun instead)
It's illegal to fall asleep in a cheese factory. (How often did that happen? Must have been a lot if they had to make a law forbidding it.)
Virginia is not the only state with funny laws. How about these? You have been warned, so pay attention if you live in any of these places.
Alaska
It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (I am glad they cleared that up)
California
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Illinois
It is illegal to speak English; American is the officially recognized language.
Iowa
Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
Louisana
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the teller with a water pistol.
Massachusetts
1 percent of construction costs of prisons must be spent on art, up to a maximum of $100,000.
Texas
It is illegal to carry a concealed ice-cream cone.
Utah
It is a crime to curse on a bus.
Discriminating unfairly in the purchase of milk, cream or butterfat is a crime.
Prosecutors can seek death for anyone who kills an on-duty poultry inspector.
A drive-by shooting could get you five years in jail and a $5,000 fine, but you could spend 15 years in prison and pay $10,000 for altering the license plate stickers on your car.
You must yield to birds while driving on the highway.
Parents can give written permission to teachers to spank their children. Even though all 40 school districts prohibit corporal punishment by policy, legislators have declined to repeal the law.
First cousins may marry, but only if they are beyond child-bearing years.
It is slander - punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine - to falsely accuse a female of being unchaste.
Raffles are defined in the law as illegal lotteries. But this particular form of gambling is routinely used by nonprofit organizations and charities to raise money.
Nightclubs may be licensed to serve alcoholic beverages only if they promise they are a real club or association, and not a business out to make a profit. Apparently, lying is not a crime.
Laws in U.S. cities, towns
Globe, Ariz.
It's illegal to play cards with an American Indian.
Tucson, Ariz.
It is illegal for women to wear pants.
California cities
In San Jose, one may not sleep in an outhouse without the owner's permission.
It is illegal in Los Angeles for anyone to send a complaint through the mail saying that a hotel has cockroaches.
A Tahoe City law prohibits horses from wearing cowbells.
Roosters are forbidden to crow within the city limits of Ontario.
In Carmel, women may not take baths in a business office.
New Britain, Conn.
Fire trucks must travel at a speed of 25 mph, even when going to a fire.
Tallahassee, Fla.
One may have sexual relations with a porcupine. (Oh, those crazy Floridians. The fun they must be having!)
Illinois cities
It's illegal to fish in your pajamas in Chicago.
In Cicero, you may not hum on public streets on Sundays.
In Joliet, you may be fined up to $5 for pronouncing the city's name "Jollyet."
In Zion, it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats and other pets.
Gary, Ind.
People are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
Clawson, Mich.
It is legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats and chickens.
St. Louis
It is illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
Lehigh, Neb.
It is illegal to sell doughnut holes.
New York
You may not throw a ball at someone's head for fun. (I am really glad to hear that! If you throw a ball at someone's head, you must be serious and not enjoy it in the least)
Baltimore
It is illegal to take a lion to the theater.
Eugene, Ore.
No person shall park or tether a horse in a public way or street.
None of the listed animals - baby chicks, ducklings, goslings or rabbit - that have been dyed or otherwise colored artificially may be sold, raffled, displayed in a shop or given as a prize.
No person shall camp in or upon any sidewalk, street, alley, lane, public right of way or park, under a bridge or on any other publicly owned property.
No person shall carry or haul garbage on a street or sidewalk exposed so as to be offensive to pedestrians.
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