How to Get Rich Quick

I don't sit around my apartment for hours on end trying to think up ways to make money, but every now and then an idea hits me that is absolutely brilliant.

To wit:

I am thinking of starting an escort service. NO! Not THAT kind of escort service, you know where you pay some drop dead gorgeous person of the opposite sex to hang out with you to impress others, like ex-spouses or ex-lovers or your current boss. I am talking about a service that accompanies your kids on their dates.

Let me clarify. You would, in essence, as a devoted parent, pay a person to watch/chaperone or otherwise spy on your kids while they are on their date.

RATES:
$20 an hour -- follow from a discreet distance
$25 an hour -- follow from a discreet distance and take pictures with a camera phone
$30 an hour -- act like a long lost relative, interupt the date during dinner and hang out with them for the rest of the eveing.
$35 an hour -- while acting like a relative, spill something awful on the girl's clothes so she has to go home early.
$40 an hour -- sit behind them or beside them in a movie and talk to one of them the entire time.
$45 an hour -- sit between them at the movie and talk the entire time
$50 an hour -- try to break the couple up

What do you think? Like I said, brilliant!

Comments

Simon Jester said…
How much to have the little twerp who's even looking at my daughter offed?

Credit cards OK?
Karen Pope said…
Offing a Twerp: $75 an hour.

We accept all major credit cards, cash, postage stamps, Euros, Yen, wampum, paypal and ancient Roman coins.

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