On Many Subjects

My neighbor, Lionel, is still at it... Li: We will find out tomorrow if Jean is having a boy or a girl. Me: What do you want? Li: I am still hoping for a girl. Me: Have you changed your mind on the whole girls should never wear pink, thing? Li: No. If it is a girl, there will be no pink in the house. Me: Then, she will have to wear boys clothes. My granddaughter has almost nothing but pink stuff. Even her little jeans have pink flowers embroidered on them, or pink stitching down the side or something. Li: But, no one looks good in pink. Me: Every one looks good in pink. Pink is the color of human skin, regardless if it is dark or light. Pink makes you look younger because it brings out the nice pink tones in your skin. Little old ladies put pink lightblubs in their houses to make them look better. Pink is not an evil color. Li: But, what if the baby is born with a red face? Me: It will be red only if it is totally embarassed by it's parents. Li: You mean, like making a little girl ...

Because of a suggestion by a dear reader and close observation of Evelyn's behavior, the alignment of the planets, the Theory of Relativity and the hole in the ozone layer, I have finally solved the Pill Dilemma. Evelyn is a slave to her stomach, as are most animals. We THINK they love us, but what they really love is food. Simply put. I am thoroughly convinced that she thinks that I am HUNTING every time I leave the apartment because when I get back, she automatically wants to be fed. She does her cute kitty routine (refer to Puss-in-Boots in the movie Shrek 2 to completely understand this.) She looks at me with her great big blue eyes. She gives me her sweet little meow as if she is saying, "Mommy, I know you are the best hunter in the world, so please share a meager bit of your good fortune with me because how can you resist such a cute face and you know I never ask for much from you and how can you resist such an utterly cute face with such big adorable eyes?" Yeah, r...

Everyone likes to feel as if they are the master of their domain and I did, until it was time to attempt another round of medication for THE CAT. Evelyn and I are matching wits and the big question is, which one of us will prevail. For round two, I ignored her. I pretended my precious baby didn't exist for several hours, hoping to disarm her with inattention. But, she was too wise for that maneuver. As soon as I picked her up, the game was afoot once again. Number One Daughter and I wrestled the villain to the kitchen floor and the my daughter SAT on her. That's right, she sat on the cat, effectively pinning her to the floor. (Now, I realize this sounds cruel, but Number One Daughter actually knelt on the floor with the cat between her knees and angled her feet so that the cat couldn't back out of the impromptu prison) Number One opened the cat's mouth and I stuck the pill as far down her throat as I could. Number One held her mouth closed for at least a minute. We didn...