On Many Subjects

  I heard a comedian on YouTube a few days ago who made me laugh so hard, I couldn't breath.  To paraphrase, he said: Have you ever had a problem and then a bigger problem comes along and you totally forget about the first problem?  To give you an example, I was driving down the Florida Turnpike at about 90 MPH.  Back then I used to smoke.  Now, when you toss a cigarette out of a car window while going 90, it doesn't always go where you think it should.  Well, I flicked it and it blew back into the car.  You know that spot between your shirt collar and the back of your neck?  (Pause for laughter).    Then, I involuntarily jerked the wheel of the car and the car started spinning across four lanes of the Turnpike.  After the second 360 degree revolution, I realized I had a big problem and so did other drivers.  They started honking their horns as if to get my attention and to let me know that I was doing high-speed donuts....

Lists are supposed to be popular on blogs. I read somewhere that if you can't think of anything to write and nothing funny is going on in your life, to make a list and everyone on Earth and a couple of planets in a galaxy far, far away will read your stuff. So, here is my list of stuff I know about men. 1. They are very knowledgeable about porn and sports equipment. 2. I know this because they helped me shop for some... sports equipment, that is. When I was younger and into more sporty things than I am now and was trying to get the really hot sporty jock kind of guy to notice me. 3. The jocks never talk to nerdy chicks 4. Or ask them out on dates, regardless of how much sports equipment nerdy chicks ask advice on. 5. They can't cook. 6. I know this because I did all the cooking. 7. They're very smart. 8. I know this because I did all the cooking. 9. And the cleaning.