No Wonder I Am So Tired When I Wake Up In The Morning
OK. I am not into commercials that much, so when I watch TV, I watch what was on yesterday so I can fast forward through all the crap they try to sell me, thereby avoiding most commericals on TV. (Shall we all take a moment and give thanks to the patron saint of DVRs?)
For whatever reason, last evening, I found myself watching a commercial for Lunesta. This is a sleep aid that is supposed to work miracles and cure even the hardiest of insomniacs. But, at the end of the commercial, you have that guy who has the really deep voice and gives you a list of disclaimers. You know, that guy who can talk at auctioneer speed and get in 45 paragraphs of scary stuff in ten seconds or less. Anyway, something caught my ear and I rewound my DVR just to make sure I heard it correctly.
"This product may cause drowsiness." Ya think? I would hope my sleep aid caused drowisness, other wise I am wasting my money and a trip to the doctor, which is not a cheap activity in the US, I am sorry to report.
Anywho, the voice-over guy also says "Instances of sleepwalking and driving while asleep and later having no memory of these activities has been reported." WOW! "If this occurs, contact your doctor immediately." Do I contact him while I am asleep? Hmmmm... Driving while I am asleep is a very serious side effect. I mean, I could drive all the way down I-64W from Newport News to Virginia Beach, which includes a trip through the tunnel where I would hope I don't forget to NOT change lanes... wait. I do that every morning, anyway. I get up at 4:00 - 4:30 so I can make breakfast, coffee, a mess of my hair, and a nuisance of myself while I play my music too loud, then I get into the car and drive. About 8:30, after I have been at work for an hour, I finally open my eyes and wonder how in the world I got there. Bad example.
The voice-over guy goes on to say, "Call your doctor right away if after taking Lunesta you walk, drive, eat or engage in other activities while asleep." Eat? While I am sleeping? Is that why I can't loose weight and there are always mysterious Taco Bell Meximelt wrappers on the front seat of my car? Have I been unjustly accusing my neighbors of picking the lock on my car, tossing in their trash, relocking the door and walking away with no one the wiser without bothering to steal my car's CD player while they were at it?
Maybe I not only drive in my sleep to Taco Bell, I eat there, too. Contact my doctor right away? Maybe I can show up at his house at 1 am with a sackful of crunchy tacos, in my Minnie Mouse nighty. (God, what an image.) "Doc, there seems to be a problem."
It says, engage in other activites? What would that be? Vacuuming the carpets? A beach volley ball game? Bleaching the shower? Maybe after repotting the geranium, I drive to Taco Bell... The possibilities are endless.
I can just imagine that morning call...
Me: Dr. Smith? I think I have a problem.
Doc: Yes? What is it?
Me: Well... um... I am not sure, but I think I painted a mural on my living room wall of Luna Moths landing on the shoulders of sleeping people, while I was asleep, I might add.
Doc: That is serious! We have to get you off of Lunesta right away!
Me: Can it wait one more night? I have to finish the mural and Taco Bell is having a buy one Meximelt, get one free sale.
For whatever reason, last evening, I found myself watching a commercial for Lunesta. This is a sleep aid that is supposed to work miracles and cure even the hardiest of insomniacs. But, at the end of the commercial, you have that guy who has the really deep voice and gives you a list of disclaimers. You know, that guy who can talk at auctioneer speed and get in 45 paragraphs of scary stuff in ten seconds or less. Anyway, something caught my ear and I rewound my DVR just to make sure I heard it correctly.
"This product may cause drowsiness." Ya think? I would hope my sleep aid caused drowisness, other wise I am wasting my money and a trip to the doctor, which is not a cheap activity in the US, I am sorry to report.
Anywho, the voice-over guy also says "Instances of sleepwalking and driving while asleep and later having no memory of these activities has been reported." WOW! "If this occurs, contact your doctor immediately." Do I contact him while I am asleep? Hmmmm... Driving while I am asleep is a very serious side effect. I mean, I could drive all the way down I-64W from Newport News to Virginia Beach, which includes a trip through the tunnel where I would hope I don't forget to NOT change lanes... wait. I do that every morning, anyway. I get up at 4:00 - 4:30 so I can make breakfast, coffee, a mess of my hair, and a nuisance of myself while I play my music too loud, then I get into the car and drive. About 8:30, after I have been at work for an hour, I finally open my eyes and wonder how in the world I got there. Bad example.
The voice-over guy goes on to say, "Call your doctor right away if after taking Lunesta you walk, drive, eat or engage in other activities while asleep." Eat? While I am sleeping? Is that why I can't loose weight and there are always mysterious Taco Bell Meximelt wrappers on the front seat of my car? Have I been unjustly accusing my neighbors of picking the lock on my car, tossing in their trash, relocking the door and walking away with no one the wiser without bothering to steal my car's CD player while they were at it?
Maybe I not only drive in my sleep to Taco Bell, I eat there, too. Contact my doctor right away? Maybe I can show up at his house at 1 am with a sackful of crunchy tacos, in my Minnie Mouse nighty. (God, what an image.) "Doc, there seems to be a problem."
It says, engage in other activites? What would that be? Vacuuming the carpets? A beach volley ball game? Bleaching the shower? Maybe after repotting the geranium, I drive to Taco Bell... The possibilities are endless.
I can just imagine that morning call...
Me: Dr. Smith? I think I have a problem.
Doc: Yes? What is it?
Me: Well... um... I am not sure, but I think I painted a mural on my living room wall of Luna Moths landing on the shoulders of sleeping people, while I was asleep, I might add.
Doc: That is serious! We have to get you off of Lunesta right away!
Me: Can it wait one more night? I have to finish the mural and Taco Bell is having a buy one Meximelt, get one free sale.
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