Reinventing the Language of Love
It all began last week when Digitaljon and I had a disagreement, a bit of a row, a quarrel, or whatever term you choose to use to describe a suddenly escalating situation that got totally out of hand because of misunderstanding, feelings of abandonment, and the hole in the ozone layer.
We were FINISHED, I tell you. He was not coming home and I was totally shattered... for three days, which is apparently a universal limit of some kind becuase everything always seems better after three days.
Anyway, the gossip-mill was in full swing. I talked to my son about what happened and he gave me some pretty good and sound advice, which I appreciate. Then he mentioned it to someone, who mentioned it to someone else... and well you get the picture. Before the weekend was over, every member of my family was aware of the situation.
The funny thing is, Digitaljon and I talked about it and discussed it and essentially "made-up" and were happy as clams.
I got a phone call from #1 daughter yesterday, because she had not heard That last bit.
#1: I heard what happened.
Me: What happened?
#1: That you and DJ have broken up.
Me: I SWEAR that no one in this family can have a secret.
#1: So, you are broken up.
Me: We are not broken up.
#1: But, Dad said...
Me: Wait! I didn't tell your Dad, my EX-husband, ANYTHING. You know how he is. He is the ultimate gossip monger. He is the ring leader of the gossip gang. He is the one who has to be the first one to know everything and then see to it that everyone else knows he was the first one to know. I didn't say a word to him. He called me to tell me your brother's wife had her baby before your brother had a change to call me and then spent the next hour doing the butter-dance because he was the first one to call me.
#1: So you are broken up?
Me: No.
#1: You're not?
Me: Well, I was, for three days. But, we made-up.
#1: Oh, Ok. What happened?
Me: Well, I said some pretty stupid things and then everything got blown out of proportion and then I got an email telling me we were broken up... but then three, days later, we were on the phone and talking again. It was a quarrel. A disagreement. A spat.
#1: So, you survived your first fight.
Me: Yes.
#1: And it was because you said something that DJ took the wrong way.
Me: Yes.
#1: Well, it happens.
Me: What happens?
#1: Um... how can I put this delicately? Now don't get mad at me. Mom, you can be a tench bit brash.
Me:...
#1: Mom are you there?
Me: A Tench Bit Brash? Tench is not a word.
#1: It is now.
Me: Tench?
#1: As in teensy, tiny. Tench.
Me: Tench? Rhymes with bench, stench, Grinch. Tench.
#1: Funny, you didn't get upset with me calling you brash.
Me: I was just wondering if you can say that fast three times? Tench Bit Brash.
#1: I so miss these little conversations with you.
Me: Call your Dad and tell him he is behind on current events. It will drive him crazy.
#1: Oh, that's right. This will be fun.
Me: And if I can avoid being a tench bit brash, I will call you in a couple of days.
#1: I am going to hear about this for a long time. I can tell.
We were FINISHED, I tell you. He was not coming home and I was totally shattered... for three days, which is apparently a universal limit of some kind becuase everything always seems better after three days.
Anyway, the gossip-mill was in full swing. I talked to my son about what happened and he gave me some pretty good and sound advice, which I appreciate. Then he mentioned it to someone, who mentioned it to someone else... and well you get the picture. Before the weekend was over, every member of my family was aware of the situation.
The funny thing is, Digitaljon and I talked about it and discussed it and essentially "made-up" and were happy as clams.
I got a phone call from #1 daughter yesterday, because she had not heard That last bit.
#1: I heard what happened.
Me: What happened?
#1: That you and DJ have broken up.
Me: I SWEAR that no one in this family can have a secret.
#1: So, you are broken up.
Me: We are not broken up.
#1: But, Dad said...
Me: Wait! I didn't tell your Dad, my EX-husband, ANYTHING. You know how he is. He is the ultimate gossip monger. He is the ring leader of the gossip gang. He is the one who has to be the first one to know everything and then see to it that everyone else knows he was the first one to know. I didn't say a word to him. He called me to tell me your brother's wife had her baby before your brother had a change to call me and then spent the next hour doing the butter-dance because he was the first one to call me.
#1: So you are broken up?
Me: No.
#1: You're not?
Me: Well, I was, for three days. But, we made-up.
#1: Oh, Ok. What happened?
Me: Well, I said some pretty stupid things and then everything got blown out of proportion and then I got an email telling me we were broken up... but then three, days later, we were on the phone and talking again. It was a quarrel. A disagreement. A spat.
#1: So, you survived your first fight.
Me: Yes.
#1: And it was because you said something that DJ took the wrong way.
Me: Yes.
#1: Well, it happens.
Me: What happens?
#1: Um... how can I put this delicately? Now don't get mad at me. Mom, you can be a tench bit brash.
Me:...
#1: Mom are you there?
Me: A Tench Bit Brash? Tench is not a word.
#1: It is now.
Me: Tench?
#1: As in teensy, tiny. Tench.
Me: Tench? Rhymes with bench, stench, Grinch. Tench.
#1: Funny, you didn't get upset with me calling you brash.
Me: I was just wondering if you can say that fast three times? Tench Bit Brash.
#1: I so miss these little conversations with you.
Me: Call your Dad and tell him he is behind on current events. It will drive him crazy.
#1: Oh, that's right. This will be fun.
Me: And if I can avoid being a tench bit brash, I will call you in a couple of days.
#1: I am going to hear about this for a long time. I can tell.
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