On Many Subjects

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk. PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes ...

My oldest son has experienced the birth of his daughter, the Divine Miss M. My neighbor, Lionel, has a pregnant wife, who is having a boy, so the whole-girls-never-wearing-pink-issue is no longer an issue. There is someone looking out for that little unborn guy! For some reason, these two men seem to think I am the child birth guru and can answer any of their questions regarding pregnancy and child birth. This is a compilation of questions and answers that have occurred over the past two years. #2: We are thinking about a sibling for Miss M. Should my wife have a baby after 30? Me: No, 30 children is enough. Li: Jean is two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? Me: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Li: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? Me: Childbirth. Li: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. Me: So what's your question? #2: Our childbirth instructor says it's not pain my w...

I have actually discussed refrigerator magnets before. Read about it here . The latest tally on my fridgie magnets that hold up scraps of paper with my version of the Daily News has risen considerably. Currently, I have grocery lists--"Buy Milk" and the scrap of paper towel that has scribbled on it, "Buy paper towels" and the note pad that sticks to the fridge that says (at the moment) Coffee filters, Garbage Bags and Shampoo. I have pizza coupons and a Christmas card from my Mom and Dad--Great picture this year! I love it! I have a business card from a travel agent, directions to the library, a picture of St. Petersburg, FL, a Calvin and Hobbes comic, a photo of Jon, and a 20% off coupon to Bed, Bath and Beyond. Pretty standard refrigerator fare. I have a new addition to my list of fridgies and that is those little flat magnets with words on them that can be combined into sentences to express thoughts for the day. The overall theme of the word magnets I have is ...

OK. I am not into commercials that much, so when I watch TV, I watch what was on yesterday so I can fast forward through all the crap they try to sell me, thereby avoiding most commericals on TV. (Shall we all take a moment and give thanks to the patron saint of DVRs?) For whatever reason, last evening, I found myself watching a commercial for Lunesta. This is a sleep aid that is supposed to work miracles and cure even the hardiest of insomniacs. But, at the end of the commercial, you have that guy who has the really deep voice and gives you a list of disclaimers. You know, that guy who can talk at auctioneer speed and get in 45 paragraphs of scary stuff in ten seconds or less. Anyway, something caught my ear and I rewound my DVR just to make sure I heard it correctly. "This product may cause drowsiness." Ya think? I would hope my sleep aid caused drowisness, other wise I am wasting my money and a trip to the doctor, which is not a cheap activity in the US, I am sorry to rep...

I read a lot of news stories during the course of the week, often trying to find interesting or upbeat things to blog about at work... Have I mentioned that I get PAID to blog?  How cool is that?... Every now and then, I encounter a news story that makes me laugh out loud. Have you heard the one where China says the West should bear the burden of cleaning up the atomosphere because the US has been doing it longer.  Although China has 20 of the 30 most polluted cities in the world as a result of using out-dated curde oil and coal methods of energy, they don't think they should take responsibility in any way for global warming.  After all, they are a developing nation and have only been polluting a few decades. This is at the latest conference to attempt to get the world to cooperate in cleaning up the atomosphere... The Kyoto Accords didn't work because the US refused to sign any measure that didn't require China, India and a couple of other countries to help. So, it worked...

It's that time of year again! I admit. I LOVE Christmas. I LOVE Christmas decorations. I took a hiatus from Christmas for several years and, amazingly enough, I still had money in January. So that is a plus. But, even though I didn't go through the trappings of the holiday, I watched It's a Wonderful Life and White Christmas on TV. Over and over. Last year, I broke with that No-Christmas tradition and put up a tree. I loved Christmas as a child, except then, I thought Santa Claus MUST be the patron saint of janitors because he wasn't allowed to visit our house unless it was totally cleaned from cellar to dome. (We lived in an American Ranch style home, in Florida, so there was no cellar or dome.) Be that as it may, every nook and cranny, every speck of dust, every tiny mark that announced the home was less than perfectly clean had to be removed or NO SANTA! What a pain for a kid to endure. "Gee, Mom, couldn't Santa come here just ONCE without us h...

I have mentioned my pretty cat Evelyn more than once in this blog. If fact, I should put her on the like of friends and family in the sticky post at the top of the page. I felt sorry for Evelyn, being home alone all day, so I got her a friend Tiki. Tiki is a pretty girl Seal Point Siamese Cat. Now, since I brought Tiki home, she has hung out in my bedroom without the slightest inclination to leave. Eveyln has staked out the living room as her territory. Tiki, like most Siamese cats, is very chatty and talks to me all the time. When Evelyn decides to join in the conversation, the Tiki begins to hiss and spit and go totally Ghetto on us. I mean she gets a terrible attitude and won't let Evelyn join in the fun. But, Evelyn is patient. Yesterday, Evelyn returned to the bedroom and my bed,a place where she normally sleeps, which means I have Tiki on one side of me on the bed and Evelyn on the other. It could be a cozy arrangement except Tiki turns into Ghetto Cat at the drop of a hat an...