On Many Subjects

Every now and then, an image comes along that explains everything.

OK. so I listen to audio books when I drive under the hope that my brain will expand and the amount of trivial knowledge that I have will ever increase. Besides, it is a good time to engage in recreational reading (or actually recreational LISTENING.) Yesterday, I was listening to Sahara, by Clive Cussler and imagining myself in the role of Eva Rojas and that Matthew McConaughey really IS Dirk Pitt. (Stop it! You do it, too!) I was listening to the part that described a battle on the James River near the end of the Civil War, as a Confederate ironclad ship was trying to escape down the river with all the documents pertaining to the Confederacy and a very special passenger. The ship encountered resistance north of Newport News, and into Hampton Roads and then betwen Fort Wool and Fort Monroe. So, what has that to do with anything, you may ask. I was on Interstate 64 crossing the James River and taking the tunnel under the James between Fort Wool and Fort Monroe at the time I was listeni...

I saw this on another person's blog and decided to post it after spending about five minutes of my precious time answering the questions. So, if any of these situations happen to me, I will already have a name picked out. 1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet name and current street you live on) Tippy Oceanview (that's kinda cool) 2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (your grandmother/grandfather first name and your favorite candy) Eleanor Mars (bar) (Also kinda cool) 3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name) K-Pop (Coolness, again) 4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) No way it is Pink Panther! 5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name, your favorite city) Carol St. Petersburg 6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your first name, first three of your middle and last name) KarVerPop (At least this is pronouncable) 7. Terrorist Name: (middle name spelled backwards, your grandmother's ma...

All right, winter, we GET IT. All I can think about is contained in three words: I am cold. No, wait, here are a few more: it is cold here. That's four words! And: I wish I had an extra sweater right now. 9 words! These are really adding up. How about this one: Who said winter was a good idea when my feet have turned to blocks of ice and my blood is running so sluggishly I can barely type and my big fuzzy brown coat has been morphed (by me) into a blanket and is still ineffectual. OK, that is 45 words. I have had just about enough of January. Really, January. You made your point. "I can make you cold," you said, and it's not like any of us disagreed with you. But then you had to go and freeze everything just to prove that point. It I was January's mother, I would send it to its room. With no dessert. My skin is cracking from the cold. Every time I absentmindedly scratch my shin, my fingers come back all bloody. It is a good thing I am not in therapy. Why is my leg...

On Sunday, I listened to a podcast by Garrison Keillor, "The news from Lake Wobegone." It was his Thanksgiving podcast so I was a couple of months late in listening. He talked about the huge feast that the female members of his family prepared and how everyone ate at least three times what they would normally eat because not to may hurt someone's feelings. Then, GK said that being thankful for a huge feast was not what the holiday was all about. He quoted "I was naked and you clothed me, I was hungry and you fed me," referring to words Jesus spoke in the Bible. Then, GK said that it didn't matter what church you attended, what organization you pledged your alliegence to, if you followed the rules or not set down my your congregation's tenets and dogma. What really mattered was how we treat our fellow man. Garrison Keillor felt that was going to be the deciding factor about who got a positive reward and those who did not. To that I say, "Truer words ...

As cold as it is outside, I am surprised that not all the spiders have frozen to death. On the other hand, they have decided that my nice warm apartment may be a good place to wait out the cold spell. It was BIG. It was HUGE. It was about the size of my shoe. I know that because I hurled the shoe across the room, ricocheted off the door and fell on top of the intruder. My cats, thinking I was playing with them, ran over to the shoe, which missed the spider, by the way, and proceeded to treat it like a new kitty toy, happily chasing it and playing soccer with it. Fortunately, the spider's mortal remains were in the middle of the kitchen floor when I went in to make coffee this morning and I was left to wonder why my carnivorous predators did not eat the darn thing. I say "fortunately" because the spider was dead, not because I had to clean up the carcass.

I was thinking about my age this morning, after discussing the horrors of Hot Flashes with a co-worker. According to V, one of her friends stayed over night with her in a kind of slumber party and the other women, who is younger than V, was bundled in a heavy robe, slippers, and a blanket while sweetly announcing, "It is a little bit chilly in your apartment." Like me, V often goes to bed with long pajamas on, socks on her feet and totally armed against the cold nights with a blanket and a quilt. Some time around the magic hour of 2am, we are forced out of our blissful sleep by a hot flash. That means, the blankets are flung off the bed, the pajama bottoms and socks end up on the floor and the ceiling fan goes on high-speed. Only to be chilled to the point of pnuemonia a few minutes later. Sleep has become a real rollercoaster ride and something I have begun to have fantasies about. Not only that, there are other distinct indicators that I, and my co-worker, are getting older...

First, they tell us to work faster, then the database we work from is shut down, successfully preventing us from working at all.

It is normal for me to go to bed about 9:00 pm to 9:30 pm. Then, right on cue, I wake up at 2:14. So, I get up and pee because I am awake anyway. So, I go back to sleep and then, I wake up at 6:00 and I have to pee ALOT. My sleep is always in two segments, but I cannot understand why I have to pee so much when I wake up at 6:00 am. I do not drink anything during my 2:14 sleep break. The only thing I can figure is that I am sleep-driving to the Seven-Eleven, buying a six pack of beer and sleep-chugging all six before returning to the cozy warmth of my bed. Could explain why I wake up with a headache every morning, too.