R1D1
I have a new household gadget that is impossible to live without: an iRobot Roomba. It is a cute little machine that merrily cruises around, vacuuming the carpets, the floors and rugs. It is about twelve inches in diameter and is about 3 inches tall. Not very impressive in its size as a cleaner droid, but it IS very imnpressive in its abilities.
If it finds a spots it deems as particularly dirty, it will travel in a circle right over the spot until it is cleaned. Then, it sings a quiet little victory song.
It's cleaning pattern is seemingly random until you really watch the little guy to see what he is doing. He criss-crosses the room until every inch of carpet is cleaned. This process takes about 45 minutes.
When he begins to get low on energy, he will go back to his home base to recharge.
Nearly every day, Digitaljon turns the little bot loose to allow him to go into his routine of systematically removing the cat hair that seems to accumulate in huge piles over night.
Before I tell you my humorous story, I have to point out a couple of things (and thank you to everyone who has hung in there with me this long while I get to the point of the story): First, I didn't give R1D1 his name. Digitaljon named our latest pet. Second, I live in an apartment with CHEAP apartment carpet and by the time all the loose nap is vaccuumed away (a phenomenon of new carpets everywhere) there will be no carpet left... just the backing. What that means is, my adorable little R1D1 has to be emptied VERY regularly. He tends to go back home to rest when his collection facitlity is too full AND we have to clean the carpet nap out of the cleaning brushes on a regular basis, too. R1 IS just a cleaning droid and not an R2 unit or a protocol droid. Thirdly, R1 has to be turned on to clean the room and will not automatically clean on it's own... I don't think. (Must look into this.) If he gets stuck on/under an object, he will cry and then shuts himself down until he is rescued. Lastly, he cannot understand the concept of "dust ruffle." Limited cognitive abilities, obviously.
The Story:
Digitaljon deployed R1 on a routine cleaning mission, after moving the furniture so the little droid could work unobstructed.
When I came in from work, R1 was acting as if he had lost his mind. He would run into a chest leg, back up an inch and run into it again. Repeatedly. Like he was stuck or something.
DigitalJon had noticed the little droid's dilemma and was already seeking a solution via the fabulous world of technology when I walked into the door. He had the iRobot website open and was reading the troubleshooting section of the owner's manual.
Me: What's wrong with R1? I am worried about him.
DJ: I am looking that info up right now.
Me: He looks demented. I mean he was never the smartest droid the Jawas ever sold to us, but really, this is ridiculous.
DJ: I have emptied his debris collection chamber and thrown the contents into the trash compactor. I have cleaned the brushes, thinking something got caught in there. He is still sick.
Me: He looks pathetic. I can't watch this much longer. I am going to cry.
DJ: I have the answser!
Me: Well, tell me! You are reading and I am simply standing here watching R1 run into furniture...over and over and over.
DJ: Apparently, we have to spank it.
Me:...
DJ: Don't look at me that way. Read it for yourself.
Me: It doesn't say SPANK. It says to smack the obstacle sensor briskly several times because the sensor is stuck.
DJ: Like I said, spank it.
Me: But, he is so young! Will he even know why we are spanking him?
DJ: There is only one way to find out. (Reaching for the sick droid)
Me: OH NO! If anyone is going to spank it will be me! Men hit too hard.
DJ: OK
So, I pick up the little droid and slap his obstacle sensor several times.
DJ: CAREFUL! The instructions said to smack it briskly, not to beat the hell out of it.
Me:...
DJ: Don't give me that look.
Me: I can't believe you would think I would do anything to hurt our droid.
DJ: Stop cuddling it and see if it works.
Me: (to R1) It's OK, little one. Mommy didn't mean to hurt you.
DJ: Oh, brother!
Me: Droids have feelings, too.
DJ: I am never letting you watch Stars Wars, again.
Me: YOU are the one who named him R1.
DJ: Just see if smacking him around worked while I look up information about droid abuse online. There is probably a twelve step program to take care of that.
Me: I did NOT abuse our droid.
I put the little droid on the floor, pressed his buttom indicating the beginning to a mission, heard his happy little song and he merrily continued cleaning the floor as if he had never been spanked.
Somewhere in there is a lesson to be learned. I am just not certain what it is.
If it finds a spots it deems as particularly dirty, it will travel in a circle right over the spot until it is cleaned. Then, it sings a quiet little victory song.
It's cleaning pattern is seemingly random until you really watch the little guy to see what he is doing. He criss-crosses the room until every inch of carpet is cleaned. This process takes about 45 minutes.
When he begins to get low on energy, he will go back to his home base to recharge.
Nearly every day, Digitaljon turns the little bot loose to allow him to go into his routine of systematically removing the cat hair that seems to accumulate in huge piles over night.
Before I tell you my humorous story, I have to point out a couple of things (and thank you to everyone who has hung in there with me this long while I get to the point of the story): First, I didn't give R1D1 his name. Digitaljon named our latest pet. Second, I live in an apartment with CHEAP apartment carpet and by the time all the loose nap is vaccuumed away (a phenomenon of new carpets everywhere) there will be no carpet left... just the backing. What that means is, my adorable little R1D1 has to be emptied VERY regularly. He tends to go back home to rest when his collection facitlity is too full AND we have to clean the carpet nap out of the cleaning brushes on a regular basis, too. R1 IS just a cleaning droid and not an R2 unit or a protocol droid. Thirdly, R1 has to be turned on to clean the room and will not automatically clean on it's own... I don't think. (Must look into this.) If he gets stuck on/under an object, he will cry and then shuts himself down until he is rescued. Lastly, he cannot understand the concept of "dust ruffle." Limited cognitive abilities, obviously.
The Story:
Digitaljon deployed R1 on a routine cleaning mission, after moving the furniture so the little droid could work unobstructed.
When I came in from work, R1 was acting as if he had lost his mind. He would run into a chest leg, back up an inch and run into it again. Repeatedly. Like he was stuck or something.
DigitalJon had noticed the little droid's dilemma and was already seeking a solution via the fabulous world of technology when I walked into the door. He had the iRobot website open and was reading the troubleshooting section of the owner's manual.
Me: What's wrong with R1? I am worried about him.
DJ: I am looking that info up right now.
Me: He looks demented. I mean he was never the smartest droid the Jawas ever sold to us, but really, this is ridiculous.
DJ: I have emptied his debris collection chamber and thrown the contents into the trash compactor. I have cleaned the brushes, thinking something got caught in there. He is still sick.
Me: He looks pathetic. I can't watch this much longer. I am going to cry.
DJ: I have the answser!
Me: Well, tell me! You are reading and I am simply standing here watching R1 run into furniture...over and over and over.
DJ: Apparently, we have to spank it.
Me:...
DJ: Don't look at me that way. Read it for yourself.
Me: It doesn't say SPANK. It says to smack the obstacle sensor briskly several times because the sensor is stuck.
DJ: Like I said, spank it.
Me: But, he is so young! Will he even know why we are spanking him?
DJ: There is only one way to find out. (Reaching for the sick droid)
Me: OH NO! If anyone is going to spank it will be me! Men hit too hard.
DJ: OK
So, I pick up the little droid and slap his obstacle sensor several times.
DJ: CAREFUL! The instructions said to smack it briskly, not to beat the hell out of it.
Me:...
DJ: Don't give me that look.
Me: I can't believe you would think I would do anything to hurt our droid.
DJ: Stop cuddling it and see if it works.
Me: (to R1) It's OK, little one. Mommy didn't mean to hurt you.
DJ: Oh, brother!
Me: Droids have feelings, too.
DJ: I am never letting you watch Stars Wars, again.
Me: YOU are the one who named him R1.
DJ: Just see if smacking him around worked while I look up information about droid abuse online. There is probably a twelve step program to take care of that.
Me: I did NOT abuse our droid.
I put the little droid on the floor, pressed his buttom indicating the beginning to a mission, heard his happy little song and he merrily continued cleaning the floor as if he had never been spanked.
Somewhere in there is a lesson to be learned. I am just not certain what it is.
Comments
Beatings are always bad.
Ha HA HA! I love that there were so many Star Wars referances!
What can I say? We are fans.
May the force be with you!