On Many Subjects

I just read an article about turkey carving that was pretty cute. (Find it here ) For years, the question of who will carve the turkey has arisen every year about this time. It is tradition in these parts for the man of the house to do it. It wasn't that way in my house, when I was married. You see, the man of the house had no clue how to carve a turkey and because he (apparently) wasn't born with that knowledge, had no desire to learn. Even when I offered to buy him an electric knife to play with, he refused all offers to carve the turkey on Thanksgiving that he ALWAYS insisted I make... for better or for worse. So, I made the turkey, it was beautiful and golden and perfect and presented it to the guest we had over for the Thanksgiving meal that year, although because this was thirty something years ago, I don't remember the precise circumstances. There were so many similair moments aft4er that. Again, I digress... So, with knife and fork poised, I was ready to have a...

Paulson poker chips, which are made in Las Vegas, were found to contain high levels of lead. There's nothing to worry about. The reason casinos are so big and lavish is that gamblers cannot hang on to their chips long enough for any statistically measurable health risk.

My neighbor, Lionel, is still at it... Li: We will find out tomorrow if Jean is having a boy or a girl. Me: What do you want? Li: I am still hoping for a girl. Me: Have you changed your mind on the whole girls should never wear pink, thing? Li: No. If it is a girl, there will be no pink in the house. Me: Then, she will have to wear boys clothes. My granddaughter has almost nothing but pink stuff. Even her little jeans have pink flowers embroidered on them, or pink stitching down the side or something. Li: But, no one looks good in pink. Me: Every one looks good in pink. Pink is the color of human skin, regardless if it is dark or light. Pink makes you look younger because it brings out the nice pink tones in your skin. Little old ladies put pink lightblubs in their houses to make them look better. Pink is not an evil color. Li: But, what if the baby is born with a red face? Me: It will be red only if it is totally embarassed by it's parents. Li: You mean, like making a little girl ...

Overheard while in line at the bank: She: That's so retarded. He: I hate it when you use that word like that. She: What word? Retarded? He: Yes. I'm not, you know. She: Not what? Retarded. Yeah, you are acting totally retarded. He: Don't you know how high my IQ is? She: No. He: It is 136. My IQ is 136. She: Well, mine is 1050. He: I said IQ, not SAT score. She: Whatever. Just don't act retarded again, OK? He: Whatever.

According to Mara Rose Williams of the Kansas City Star, A class clown may be disruptive in school, but in the workplace a little humor is good for creativity, according to a University of Missouri-Columbia researcher. Chris Robert, assistant professor of management in MU’s Robert J. Trulaske Sr. College of Business, said that humor — particularly joking about things associated with the job — has a positive impact in the workplace. “The ability to appreciate humor, the ability to laugh and make other people laugh actually has physiological effects on the body that cause people to become more bonded,” said Robert. That is really good news! In a seemingly unrelated event, my New Car stranded me again, this time in the rain because the windshield wipers quit working... in the middle of the worse rainstorm this year. I call the lady at AAA to rescue me and we had a lengthy discussion as to the location of my car. "I got off of the highway (Interstate 64W) at the sign that said Milit...