Cable Guy

Okay, so I moved into my new apartment on Saturday and the Internet was supposed to be turned on by the time I got there. Guess what? No Internet. I called the Cable Company to tell them that I had no signal, which meant no Internet and no TV and they said they would send the guy over on Monday. I spent my lunch break with Cable Guy.

He shows up and I SWEAR his butt crack was showing as he bent over to investigate the problem to my cable. Every time he bent over, I saw more than I wanted to. But, he did fix the cable.

Sidebar: Showing one's butt crack is probably the least classy thing there is. Or so I thought.

Then, this:
Cable Guy: I am going to give you my card. Call me if you have any problems.
Me: I thought I had to call the cable company, first.
CG: No. You can call me for anything.
Me:.....
CG: I mean, if you need a man for anything, at all. I don;t have a girlfriend right now.
Me: What makes you think I need a man?
CG: I'm just saying.
Me: Thank you.
CG: I mean it. You can call me.
Me: If I need anything from you, I will call.
CG: I live about three miles from here.
Me: All right.
CG: Oh. You got cats.
Me: Yes, I do. Two of them.
CG: I used to have a cat, but I always forgot to feed her. She died.
Me:.....
CG: I don't have a cat, now.
Me: You just told me she starved to death, so I know.
CG: Oh, no! She didn't starve. She was hit by a car.
Me: Oh.
CG: So, you will call me?
Me: I don't think so.
CG: Call me.
Me:........

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Many Car Repair Guys Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Me: My car is making a funny noise. Repairman: Then, turn the raido off. Me: Oh, you're one of those funny car repairmen. Rep: No, not really. Me: I was making a joke Rep: Wasn't very funny. Me: Give me my keys. I am going to get this fixed somehwere else, you Stupid, no-sense-of-humor-having, butt-crack-showing, dirty-too-small-blue jeans-wearing, front-teeth-missing, jazz-music-hating asshole. *Insipired by a comment I made on Bee's blog
Read more

What's a Girl to do?

OK. I confess. I joined a dating site with the hope of finally (a long last) meeting the love of my life. I have to admit. The bastards won. I was in contact with a man who seemed to be very interested and exchanged several emails with me...he was educated, an art dealer, seemed classy from his emails. Then, he asked me to send him money. LOTS of money. We had not even reached the stage of talking on the phone when he asked me for money. I don't mean to get on a rant here and most people who read my blog know that I do not rant very often, but... I am thoroughly cheesed off by this character for a number of reasons. First, how could someone actually attempt to take advantage of someone like this? Worse, how could he assume that I was stupid enough to fall for his crap? What does this say about our world that a person (presumably a man) could be so greedy they would try to scam someone. Obviously, if I had sent him the money he asked for, he would do one of two things... hang on to ...
Read more

How to Effectively Argue

This is the funniest thing I have read recently and it is extremely valuable information, as in, I wish I had known about this when I was a teenager. Or even better, I wish I had known this when my kids were teenagers. How to argue effectively By Dave Barry And not by Stuart J. Williams, Attorney at Law I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules: Drink liquor. Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruv...
Read more