Spider Man

CoWorker: OHMYGOD! THERE IS A HUGE SPIDER ON MY CHAIR.
Me: A WHAT?
CW: A spider. A HUGE spider.
Me: I am not coming into your office for any reason until you get rid of your cheesy visitor.
CW: I need to use your phone so I can call a man.
Me: Who would that be?
CW: Pete is closet.

She makes the call and summons the man.

Pete: What's up?
CW: A spider in my chair.
Pete: What? You hire a new employee?
CW: Very funny. Kill it.
Pete: He is hairy.
Me: It is confirmed. It IS my ex-husand.
Pete: So, do you mind if I kick his ass?
Me: Not at all.

A moment of silence, then:

CW: OHMYGOD! He squished it.
Pete: I thought that's what you wanted.
CW: But, I have spider guts on my chair.
Pete: Well, get a paper towel and clean it off.
CW: No way! I am not touching that.

Pete leaves and returns with a paper towel.

Pete: Ok. Your chair is clean.
CW: Thank you.
Me: My hero! They will make a comic book series based on you.
Pete: They already did. It is called Spider Man.

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