On Many Subjects

I'm an Article!

2009-04-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

I'm an article

Cause and Effect

2009-04-15T11:24:00.000-07:00

OK, so I started physical therapy because my I had a backache for something like two years and I was getting damned grouchy about it. I was even grouchier when the doctor told me it was from "normal wear and tear." NORMAL? Is he kidding me? Normal to scream in agony when you sit and normal to scream in agony again when you stand up? If it was normal, wouldn't everyone be doing it?

So, I started physical therapy and amazingly, my back feels better. I love going to the heated salt-water spa pool with the fuzzy jets in the water and doing nice, tame exercises. My arthritic body loves the state of weightlessness, so much so, I am thinking of moving to the International Space Station.

Meanwhile, back in the pool... I was going through my exercise routine and, as previously stated, my back feels really good, but my FREAKING knees have started hurting to beat the band. I mean hurting to the point I am screaming in agony when I stand up and screaming in agony when I sit down.

Somehow, I find it difficult to see how my situation has improved.

I went BACK to the doctor-Dr. Eye-Candy if you are interested because I firmly believe if one must visit a doctor, then visit a very pretty one and Dr. Eye-Candy is so very pretty. Dr. Candy tells me my knees hurting is because of normal wear and tear. WTF?

Me: You have got to be kidding me? It is not normal for someone to scream in agony when they sit and normal to scream in agony again when they stand up. I mean, I have been waiting to see you for nearly forty-five minutes and plenty of people stood up and sat down and there was barely any screaming at all
Dr. Eye-Candy:.....
Me: So, how is this normal?
Dr: It is normal for someone with RA (rhuematoid arthritis)
Me: So, what do we do?
Dr: Eventually, knee replacement, but not for a couple of years.
Me: So what do I do in the meantime? Scream in agony on a regular basis?
Dr: No. We can give you cortisone injections.
Me:.....
Dr: Really, it will make you feel better... we think.
Me:.....
Dr: All we have to do it stick a needle in your knee...
Me: Now wait just a cotton picking minute. How can sticking a needle in my knee make it feel better?
Dr: It just will.

OK. Maybe he isn't big on explanations, but he certainly is pretty to look at. And he was right. Sticking a needle in my knee does make it feel better as long as I don't think about being stuck in the knee with a need too closely.

What NOT to do when buying a house

2009-04-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

Check it out! I'm an article!

Real Estate - Reinvest in America

2009-04-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

The big question on everyone's mind is, when will property values appreciate, again? You are not the only person asking that question. Real Estate professionals all across the country are wondering the same thing because the real truth is, no one really knows. No one can predict the end of the crisis.

America and Americans need to change their perspective on real estate to bring about a real end to the real estate crisis. Think about this: Real estate today is as worthless as the dollar.

Think about times past, to your parents or your grandparents. In the 40s and 50s, couples lived with Mom and Dad while they were "courting." During this time, they both worked to save up their 20% down payment on their dream home. They were investing in America. Since that time, that investment in America has been devalued because of credit and the easy access to it.

Not only has real estate been devalued because of credit, but the dollar has suffered the same fate. We assess value on an item's ability to be bought and sold rather than what has been invested in that item.

To give you an example. Two years ago, a person could have bought a house that cost $800,000. The owner of the house would have less than 5% invested in his property. Where is that homeowner today? Had the homeowner put down 20%, he would own a valuable asset. The home has REAL value and the homeowner is much more careful about moving that asset around.

Putting only 5% down, the asset becomes disposable and so does the real estate market.

America needs to get back to solid buying and selling principals. This will strengthen home values and the dollar. The American Dream has become an American Nightmare and this country can only be rebuilt by hard working Americans, and not by Wall Street.

Karen Vertigan Pope writes for http://www.FindBuyers.com and http://www.FindHomeBuyers.com, a unique approach to buying and selling real estate in the Mid-Atlantic region. We match buyers and sellers, much like a dating site, using a 30 point matching system that assures you will find exactly the right home for your needs.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_Vertigan_Pope

Soul Train

2009-03-31T13:16:00.000-07:00

Upon walking into the corridor and seeing students lined up on both sides...

Me: This looks like a Soul Train line.
Student: It is.
Me: Then why isn't anyone singing or clapping hands to the beat?
Student: (singing) The Looooovvvvveeee Boat, soon will be making another run...

How Many Car Repair Guys Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

2009-03-12T05:22:00.000-07:00

Me: My car is making a funny noise.
Repairman: Then, turn the raido off.
Me: Oh, you're one of those funny car repairmen.
Rep: No, not really.
Me: I was making a joke
Rep: Wasn't very funny.
Me: Give me my keys. I am going to get this fixed somehwere else, you Stupid, no-sense-of-humor-having, butt-crack-showing, dirty-too-small-blue jeans-wearing, front-teeth-missing, jazz-music-hating asshole.

*Insipired by a comment I made on Bee's blog

Alien Invaders and Cigarettes

2009-03-11T04:22:00.001-07:00

A son-o-mine has recently quit smoking and is using a nicotine patch to counter the cravings for a smelly, smoldering weed.

This guy also protects his country by finding and disabling alien invaders. (No. Really!) Additionally, on his alien invader adventures, he frequently is beset with acute mal-de-mer and the military treats his problem with Dramamine patches. He is up to two at a time, now.

What does sissy cigarette patches and sissy Dramamine patches have in common.

With all the patches he has stuck all over his body, he looks like he lost the alien invaders game... more than once.

Insipid blog

2009-02-25T13:34:00.000-08:00

I read over some recent entries and I realized my blog used to be far funnier. But what happened was this: First one person then another got their knickers in a knot because they thought I was poking fun at them. Well, I was. So, someone gets their feelings hurt, then I stop blogging about them. A friend once (or more than once) accused me of being too nice and maybe he was right.

Me! The greatest proponent of free speech, the First Amendment, self expression, non-conformity and freedom in journalism, EVER. Me! The outspoken and irreverent Kay Four bowed to the wishes of all those people who think they are too precious to be mentioned in my blog, because, OMG! I may say something that makes them take a good long look in the mirror when they should be saying to themselves, "Yes, I do have a stick rammed up my arse," and smile at my harmless humor and by extension, themselves.

I am declaring war! I am no longer going to bend to the wishes of the masses beacause, hey! No one knows MY real name so they sure as rain will not know the real name of anyone in my blog because I. Do. Not. Use. Anybody's. Real. Name. No one can be implicated by my regaling, my ranting and my weird way of looking at the world. No one should get their feelings hurt. If by chance you see yourself in something I write, then maybe it is time for you to make a change or two instead of getting angry with me and telling me off.

Hey world! Unbend that intestinal rod and laugh at yourself once in a while. I promise you will feel a lot better.

Polka?

2009-02-25T13:29:00.000-08:00

Me: What is that on the radio?
CoWorker: It is Lily Allen singing Alfie
Me: It sounds like a polka.
CW: It does, a little. I'm not digging it.
Me: It is a polka. You only hear polkas at weddings... right after everyone does the chicken dance.
CW: My nephew announced that he learned the chicken dance and the Macarena.
Me: He was bragging about that?
CW: He is five. I told him he was all set when he gets married.
Me: Who ever decided that the chicken dance and the macarena were great wedding dances? Or the polka for that matter?
CW: I dunno.
Me: When we get married again, we should insist on no chicken dance.
CW: We get married?
Me: That wasn't a proposal. Besides you are still married to your husband.
CW: Well, the way you said it...
Me: ....
CW: You did say it like you and I were getting married.
Me: But, I didn't mean it that way.
CW: Maybe we should get married.
Me: Yeah, maybe we should. We are far less trouble than men.

What's a Girl to do?

2009-02-17T14:30:00.000-08:00

OK. I confess. I joined a dating site with the hope of finally (a long last) meeting the love of my life.

I have to admit. The bastards won.

I was in contact with a man who seemed to be very interested and exchanged several emails with me...he was educated, an art dealer, seemed classy from his emails. Then, he asked me to send him money. LOTS of money. We had not even reached the stage of talking on the phone when he asked me for money. I don't mean to get on a rant here and most people who read my blog know that I do not rant very often, but...

I am thoroughly cheesed off by this character for a number of reasons. First, how could someone actually attempt to take advantage of someone like this? Worse, how could he assume that I was stupid enough to fall for his crap? What does this say about our world that a person (presumably a man) could be so greedy they would try to scam someone. Obviously, if I had sent him the money he asked for, he would do one of two things... hang on to try to get more or I would never hear from him again, likely the latter.

Never hearing from him again is a foregone conclusion because I already blocked him so he cannot contact me, again and I reported him to the dating site. He will be banned from there. Right now, just the thought that I ever sent him even one email makes me cringe with embarassment. Still, I can't help but wonder how many others this cretin has tried this with. I can't help but wonder how many thousands of dollars he ripped off just by writing a few emails? I can't help wonder how many unsuspecting women fell for smooth writing style.

I know it won't make any difference to anyone, but to Mr. Cedric Pratt of London, England and Wixom, Michigan, SHAME ON YOU! SHAME ON YOU!

For my part, I am finished. Less than a month has passed on my six month contract (29 days to be precise) and I just canceled my account. What a waste of money! Still, I would rather be alone the rest of my life than have to deal with these predators for another second. The dating site doesn't care because they got their money and it is just my tough luck if I had a bad experience. They refuse to refund any of my money. In fact, they wanted to give me an extra month of service. I was like, "No way!"

The old question remains, however... where does a woman go to meet a nice man? I may never find out.

How to Effectively Argue

2009-02-13T10:08:00.000-08:00

This is the funniest thing I have read recently and it is extremely valuable information, as in, I wish I had known about this when I was a teenager. Or even better, I wish I had known this when my kids were teenagers.

How to argue effectively
By Dave Barry
And not by Stuart J. Williams, Attorney at Law
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:

Drink liquor.
Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.

Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove that Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you'll be damned if you're going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say instead: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level."

NOTE: Always make up exact figures.
If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published on May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say, "You left your soiled underwear in my bathroom."

Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:

Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
Ipso facto
Ergo
So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.", "e.g.", and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you don't." Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say, "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money."

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say, "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Ergo, ipso facto, case closed. Q.E.D."

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

You're begging the question.
You're being defensive.
Don't compare apples to oranges.
What are your parameters?

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody (other than engineers and policy wonks) has the vaguest idea what "parameters" means.

Don't forget the classic: YOU'RE SO LINEAR.

Here's how to use your comebacks:

You say: As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873...
Your opponent says: Lincoln died in 1865.
You say: You're begging the question.
You say: Liberians, like most Asians...
Your opponent says: Liberia is in Africa.
You say: You're being defensive.
You say: Since the discovery of the incandescent light bulb...
Your opponent says: The light bulb is an invention.
You say: Well DUH!

Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say, "That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say," or "You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler."

I stole this from HERE

Special Note

2009-02-11T13:05:00.000-08:00

Special Note to the guy driving down Virginia Beach Blvd. in the white pick-up truck during lunch time rush hour:

Chicks will not think you're special if you continue to try to pop the zit on your forehead with your head hanging out of the window so you can see yourself in the side-view mirror while you are waiting at the stop light. The only way that whole scenario could be worse was if you were playing Oingo Boingo very loudly at the same.

Inspired blogging

2009-02-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

I have been having trouble decided what to blog about because so many subjects have become off limits as a result of first one thing then another. I am like, HEY, PEOPLE, THIS IS FREE JOURNALISM. This is the first amendment at work. Free speech! Why can't I write about what I want to write about?

OK. Two things are on my mind, right now.

I joined this dating club in hopes of meeting THE guy who will make my life complete... then, I discovered several things. Namely: The. Men. Actually. Want. To. Meet. Me.

Now, I realize that is the purpose of dating. Meeting new people. Seeing if you click. Seeing if there is chemistry. Finding out if love at first sight is real. On the other side of the coin, I am wondering... do I really want a guy mucking about in my life? I mean guys are a lot of trouble and I have been without a guy since my divorce 21 years ago.

Sidebar: My definition of a guy is a man who is married to me.

On the one hand, that is not a bad thing. I get to make my own decisions. I don't have to make dinner if I don't want to. I don't have to do laundry if I don't want to. I can wear my overly large sweat-shirt in the house without being embarassed. I can drink milk right out of the carton because I am not sharing my milk with anybody. I don't have to close the bathroom door every time I go in. I can fill my entire apartment with hundreds of Barbie dolls. What's not to enjoy?

The only thing I don't have is a regular date on Friday night. Someone to talk to on a regular basis that will talk back to me. (My adorable cats really don't have a lot to say unless they are hungry and then they get really chatty, indeed.) I love going to the movies, but I hate going alone. So, to solve that little problem, I am out there. Trying to meet Mr. Right. (Not Mr. Right Now, or Mr. Always Right).

On the other hand, who says I need a regular guy in my life? I would be happy with a pen pal. I would be happy with someone who read and adored my stories.

But, that isn't what I wanted to talk about, today.

There is a new rule at work: I have to take a lunch, every day. Each and every day. The problem with this is there is no break room or lunch room. The only place to eat lunch is at my desk, which means the phone rings or a student drops in with emergency Financial Aid questions. So, if I am interrupted, that is not a lunch break.

Because I am forced to take a lunch break, I decided to ignore the phone, and ignore any student who stops by my cubicle. I will instead eat my lunch and goof off by writing blog entries or killing time on Facebook.

And, even though I know that not one cares what a person eats for lunch, I am going to tell you anyway. Todays lunch consists of my two VERY favorite sandwiches, ever. Banana and peanut butter on whole wheat and meat loaf and catsup on whole wheat. I also have an orange for an afternoon snack. Doesn't get better than this!

The Sleep-over

2009-02-02T14:41:00.001-08:00

It was a first for me. The Divine Miss M and her mom had a sleep over at my apartment on Friday. We made pizza and spinach dip. We ate ice cream and cookies. We watched Aladdin. We put on our jammies and went to bed.

Miss M is a very precocious 2.5 years old and very talkative. For example, here are a few classic phrases:

"Grammie, I am very happy to be here!"
"I made some eggs for you."
"Be careful, Grammie! It's very hot!"
"I love painting at school."
"I have the best mommy, ever."

We three climbed into my bed that is full size. Mom was quickly asleep, as was Miss M. But, Miss M likes to take up a lot of room on the bed and spreads out. I had scooted as close to the edge as possible and even risked falling out of the bed and fracturing one or more bones when I hit the floor. Finally, unable to get comfy enough to sleep, I went downstairs and slept on the futon in the livingroom, giving Miss M all the room she needed to sleep soundly all night long.

Upon waking, she asked her mom, "Where'd Grammie go?"

So they came downstairs and woke me up.

Then Miss M discussed the Aladdin movie and how the mountain was very scary. She pointed to the scary mountain over and over again and explained it all to me. Maybe some of the Disney movies aren't appropriate for very little kids.

Still, I had a marvelous time and would love to repeat it over and over, again.

2009-01-29T13:11:00.000-08:00

Every now and then, an image comes along that explains everything.

Coincidence? I Think Not

2009-01-26T05:05:00.000-08:00

OK. so I listen to audio books when I drive under the hope that my brain will expand and the amount of trivial knowledge that I have will ever increase. Besides, it is a good time to engage in recreational reading (or actually recreational LISTENING.)

Yesterday, I was listening to Sahara, by Clive Cussler and imagining myself in the role of Eva Rojas and that Matthew McConaughey really IS Dirk Pitt. (Stop it! You do it, too!)

I was listening to the part that described a battle on the James River near the end of the Civil War, as a Confederate ironclad ship was trying to escape down the river with all the documents pertaining to the Confederacy and a very special passenger. The ship encountered resistance north of Newport News, and into Hampton Roads and then betwen Fort Wool and Fort Monroe.

So, what has that to do with anything, you may ask.

I was on Interstate 64 crossing the James River and taking the tunnel under the James between Fort Wool and Fort Monroe at the time I was listening to the account of the battle.

Coincidence? I think not.

A Fun Way to Kill a Few Minutes of Time

2009-01-23T09:55:00.001-08:00

I saw this on another person's blog and decided to post it after spending about five minutes of my precious time answering the questions. So, if any of these situations happen to me, I will already have a name picked out.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet name and current street you live on)
Tippy Oceanview (that's kinda cool)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (your grandmother/grandfather first name and your favorite candy)
Eleanor Mars (bar) (Also kinda cool)

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name)
K-Pop (Coolness, again)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
No way it is Pink Panther!

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name, your favorite city)
Carol St. Petersburg

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your first name, first three of your middle and last name)
KarVerPop (At least this is pronouncable)

7. Terrorist Name: (middle name spelled backwards, your grandmother's maiden name spelled backwards)
Loracnotnats (Not very terrifying)

8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink)
The Pink Champagne (Not a very threatening superhero name)

I must point out that I changed a couple of the criteria I read in the original post when I realized that they were typical password hints, such as mom's maiden name and city where you were born.

Post YOUR results in my comments. Or not.

A wintery Tale and Michelle Obama's Clothes

2009-01-22T10:42:00.000-08:00

All right, winter, we GET IT.

All I can think about is contained in three words: I am cold.

No, wait, here are a few more: it is cold here. That's four words! And: I wish I had an extra sweater right now. 9 words! These are really adding up. How about this one: Who said winter was a good idea when my feet have turned to blocks of ice and my blood is running so sluggishly I can barely type and my big fuzzy brown coat has been morphed (by me) into a blanket and is still ineffectual. OK, that is 45 words.

I have had just about enough of January. Really, January. You made your point. "I can make you cold," you said, and it's not like any of us disagreed with you. But then you had to go and freeze everything just to prove that point. It I was January's mother, I would send it to its room. With no dessert.

My skin is cracking from the cold. Every time I absentmindedly scratch my shin, my fingers come back all bloody. It is a good thing I am not in therapy. Why is my leg bleeding, the therapist asks? No, I'm not cutting myself with an Exacto knife for fun, it's just that winter is trying to kill me. And NO, I am not paranoid. Why are you looking at me like that? What are you writing in your little notepad?

So, as long as I'm here I may as well blog about something... doo dee doo. Oh yes! Michelle Obama's fashion sense. Michelle, I applaud you!

Jill Rosen of the Baltimore Sun said this:

While President Barack Obama talked about hope in his inaugural address, first lady Michelle Obama wore it, quite literally, on her sleeve. Last night, she twirled from ball to ball in an ethereal white gown that seemed to float and glide behind her. The fashion world sighed in appreciation.

"She's not going to be a predictable play-it-safe first lady," Nicole Phelps, executive editor of Style.com, said approvingly.

At the swearing-in ceremony, Obama wore a golden yellow sheath dress and matching coat in an optimistic hue that seemed to catch and reflect the midday sunshine. With it, she made symbolism a fashion statement.

"I think the yellow symbolized hope and renewal," said Sasha Charnin Morrison, fashion director for Us Weekly. "This has been their message all along." Read it here

I have read that Michelle is going to be a fashion trendsetter, much like Jackie Kennedy was. So, the rest of the country will follow her in wearing hopeful clothing. Not a bad idea at all.

Profound Thought

2009-01-20T04:14:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, I listened to a podcast by Garrison Keillor, "The news from Lake Wobegone." It was his Thanksgiving podcast so I was a couple of months late in listening. He talked about the huge feast that the female members of his family prepared and how everyone ate at least three times what they would normally eat because not to may hurt someone's feelings.

Then, GK said that being thankful for a huge feast was not what the holiday was all about. He quoted "I was naked and you clothed me, I was hungry and you fed me," referring to words Jesus spoke in the Bible. Then, GK said that it didn't matter what church you attended, what organization you pledged your alliegence to, if you followed the rules or not set down my your congregation's tenets and dogma. What really mattered was how we treat our fellow man. Garrison Keillor felt that was going to be the deciding factor about who got a positive reward and those who did not.

To that I say, "Truer words were never spoken!"

To treat others badly, means you will be treated badly. It is a simple idea. It is the law of physics. It is Newtonian. It is truth. What goes around, comes around.

So, remember this little bit of wisdom and treat everyone nicely, help others when you can, do good work.

Not ANOTHER Spider Post!

2009-01-18T05:57:00.001-08:00

As cold as it is outside, I am surprised that not all the spiders have frozen to death. On the other hand, they have decided that my nice warm apartment may be a good place to wait out the cold spell.

It was BIG. It was HUGE. It was about the size of my shoe. I know that because I hurled the shoe across the room, ricocheted off the door and fell on top of the intruder.

My cats, thinking I was playing with them, ran over to the shoe, which missed the spider, by the way, and proceeded to treat it like a new kitty toy, happily chasing it and playing soccer with it.

Fortunately, the spider's mortal remains were in the middle of the kitchen floor when I went in to make coffee this morning and I was left to wonder why my carnivorous predators did not eat the darn thing. I say "fortunately" because the spider was dead, not because I had to clean up the carcass.

What is your REAL age?

2009-01-13T10:54:00.001-08:00

I was thinking about my age this morning, after discussing the horrors of Hot Flashes with a co-worker. According to V, one of her friends stayed over night with her in a kind of slumber party and the other women, who is younger than V, was bundled in a heavy robe, slippers, and a blanket while sweetly announcing, "It is a little bit chilly in your apartment."

Like me, V often goes to bed with long pajamas on, socks on her feet and totally armed against the cold nights with a blanket and a quilt. Some time around the magic hour of 2am, we are forced out of our blissful sleep by a hot flash. That means, the blankets are flung off the bed, the pajama bottoms and socks end up on the floor and the ceiling fan goes on high-speed. Only to be chilled to the point of pnuemonia a few minutes later. Sleep has become a real rollercoaster ride and something I have begun to have fantasies about.

Not only that, there are other distinct indicators that I, and my co-worker, are getting older. Are you ready for this?

Did you know there was a time when Banana Republic only sold safari-look clothes?

Did you know I actually used to believe that Charles Nelson Reilly and Paul Lynde were skirt-chasing bachelors?

How about this? The first time I saw Jumping Jack Flash and watched New-York-City-living Whoopie Goldberg instant message with a spy in Cold-War-Eastern-Europe, I thought it was a form of black magic that only the most hard-core computer geeks could accomplish.

And, my TV used to be made out of stone and it was powered by a stegosaurus... as was my dishwasher.

Small wonder I am now old enough to suffer-from hot flashes even though I am on the tail-end of the baby-boomer generation.

IS THIS THE WAY 2009 IS GOING TO BE?

2009-01-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

First, they tell us to work faster, then the database we work from is shut down, successfully preventing us from working at all.

Nightly Outings

2009-01-02T14:41:00.001-08:00

It is normal for me to go to bed about 9:00 pm to 9:30 pm. Then, right on cue, I wake up at 2:14. So, I get up and pee because I am awake anyway. So, I go back to sleep and then, I wake up at 6:00 and I have to pee ALOT. My sleep is always in two segments, but I cannot understand why I have to pee so much when I wake up at 6:00 am. I do not drink anything during my 2:14 sleep break. The only thing I can figure is that I am sleep-driving to the Seven-Eleven, buying a six pack of beer and sleep-chugging all six before returning to the cozy warmth of my bed. Could explain why I wake up with a headache every morning, too.

Cable Guy

2008-10-06T14:21:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I moved into my new apartment on Saturday and the Internet was supposed to be turned on by the time I got there. Guess what? No Internet. I called the Cable Company to tell them that I had no signal, which meant no Internet and no TV and they said they would send the guy over on Monday. I spent my lunch break with Cable Guy.

He shows up and I SWEAR his butt crack was showing as he bent over to investigate the problem to my cable. Every time he bent over, I saw more than I wanted to. But, he did fix the cable.

Sidebar: Showing one's butt crack is probably the least classy thing there is. Or so I thought.

Then, this:
Cable Guy: I am going to give you my card. Call me if you have any problems.
Me: I thought I had to call the cable company, first.
CG: No. You can call me for anything.
Me:.....
CG: I mean, if you need a man for anything, at all. I don;t have a girlfriend right now.
Me: What makes you think I need a man?
CG: I'm just saying.
Me: Thank you.
CG: I mean it. You can call me.
Me: If I need anything from you, I will call.
CG: I live about three miles from here.
Me: All right.
CG: Oh. You got cats.
Me: Yes, I do. Two of them.
CG: I used to have a cat, but I always forgot to feed her. She died.
Me:.....
CG: I don't have a cat, now.
Me: You just told me she starved to death, so I know.
CG: Oh, no! She didn't starve. She was hit by a car.
Me: Oh.
CG: So, you will call me?
Me: I don't think so.
CG: Call me.
Me:........

Bad Blogger

2008-09-25T04:14:00.001-07:00

I am so neglecting my blog. But, I had a new grandson, had to write a 40 page paper for school, and I am getting ready to move in two weeks. Give me a freaking break, will ya?