On Many Subjects

Upon walking into the corridor and seeing students lined up on both sides... Me: This looks like a Soul Train line. Student: It is. Me: Then why isn't anyone singing or clapping hands to the beat? Student: (singing) The Looooovvvvveeee Boat, soon will be making another run...

Me: My car is making a funny noise. Repairman: Then, turn the raido off. Me: Oh, you're one of those funny car repairmen. Rep: No, not really. Me: I was making a joke Rep: Wasn't very funny. Me: Give me my keys. I am going to get this fixed somehwere else, you Stupid, no-sense-of-humor-having, butt-crack-showing, dirty-too-small-blue jeans-wearing, front-teeth-missing, jazz-music-hating asshole. *Insipired by a comment I made on Bee's blog

A son-o-mine has recently quit smoking and is using a nicotine patch to counter the cravings for a smelly, smoldering weed. This guy also protects his country by finding and disabling alien invaders. (No. Really!) Additionally, on his alien invader adventures, he frequently is beset with acute mal-de-mer and the military treats his problem with Dramamine patches. He is up to two at a time, now. What does sissy cigarette patches and sissy Dramamine patches have in common. With all the patches he has stuck all over his body, he looks like he lost the alien invaders game... more than once.